"you win some, you lose some" i say that alot, to the point of being very, very annoying. but i think that maybe i have misunderstood the wisdom of this saying. i have been treating it as a shield, to remind myself that i will win in the future, when ever i lose...

but what i think i am supposed to get out of it, is that sometimes you have to try and win, even if you know you are going to lose...

or maybe not, but thats how i feel right now any way, because fuck it all, i would rather never win again than not try at all this time around.

i just wish i knew when i was trying and when i wasn't, cause i swear to god i thought i was trying before